Warning: the contents of this particular post are about labor and birth and all the stuff that comes with it. If you are offended by such details, turn back now. Otherwise, read on and enjoy.
Note: This is LONG. If you want it in short- scroll through to see pictures and summary at end
I am having to refer to Logan's baby book as I write this. Thankfully I at least wrote down some of the details of his birth story before my new mommy brain forgot all those small, but important facts. It's amazing how something so significant and big in your life can be forgotten in the midst of raising a baby. Perhaps this is a rather heavy story to be starting out my blog, but since I recently underwent surgery and my son will be half a year old next month, it occurred to me that I better get started before life has slipped away any further. So, with no more delays (besides the fact that I am typing this with my left hand because my right is occupied with a baby who will need to be fed for the 4th time since he woke up 3 hours ago, diaper changed, and who probably will spit up on me for the 100th time today before I finish this post): here is the story of Logan's birth.
We found out that an amazing thing was growing inside me on August 12, 2010. It was you! We couldn't believe how quickly we got pregnant. We thought it would be months of trying. Instead, there you were, growing and forming into a perfect person, created by God and in His likeness- within just a few short weeks. We couldn't believe we were going to be parents and that your little heart was beating inside of me. After our first doctor's appointment we found out you were due April 27, 2011.
You were so tiny the first time we saw you!
We debated since you were conceived about what we were going to name you. If you were a girl, you would be Vanessa Kate, Jayde or Charlotte. If you were a boy, you would be Logan, Colton, Asher, Jude or Keaton. We found out at 15 weeks that you were a strong, kicking boy! Once we knew you were a boy it was pretty easy to decide on a name.
Logan Asher Adams at 26 weeks
Being pregnant was pretty fun. I first felt you move at the end of 16 weeks. At 18 weeks you really enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner. That was the first time I felt you move continuously for an hour. It was so cool to feel you jumping around inside of me! At 24 weeks you got to travel outside the United States on a cruise to Cozumel Mexico, Grand Cayman, Jamaica and Haiti. By 30 weeks my feet were consistently swollen. So swollen, in fact, that I could only wear wide tennis shoes and flip flops. My rings would not fit and my toes couldn't rest on the ground. Derek would rub my feet and legs every night and by the time he was done, the fluid would have all moved to a mass in my calves. I was more than ready than ready to have you in those last weeks but continued to work till I went into labor.
Mommy and Daddy waiting for you
Friday, April 22, we spent the evening standing in line at an outdoor rabies clinic waiting to get shots for our 3 dogs. People were asking when I was due and I remember enjoying the looks at their faces when I said, "this Wednesday." They made jokes about how I was going to deliver you right there in the parking lot. You were pretty still that evening so I figured it would still be a while before you arrived.
Saturday, April 23, Derek had to work that morning. I spent the morning bouncing on the exercise ball and walking the house, hoping to get labor started. When Derek got home he had brought 2 beautiful bouquets of flowers with him. Around 11am I went to the bathroom and noticed I was bleeding fairly heavily. It really shocked me to see it because I had always expected labor to start with something more dramatic- like my water breaking in public or suddenly going into strong, fast contractions. I hollered at Derek that I might be in labor and started feeling shaky with excitement. Nothing much was happening after that except that my contractions started coming stronger but not much faster- usually 7-15 minutes apart. We went on a walk in our hilly neighborhood and I had to stop and breath through a few contractions. When we got back I started frantically cleaning the house. I didn't want you coming home to a mess! Derek was very sweet and patient with me and helped get every room clean from top to bottom.
We went to the mall that evening and ate dinner at Red Robin. I got a HUGE burger, bottomless fries and a milkshake and gobbled those down while timing contractions on my stop watch. We went for a walk around the mall, still not fully aware that this was our "last date" with just the two of us.
We went home and watched some Prison Break and worked on distracting me from the discomfort I was feeling. At the advice of my Aunt Cathy (a midwife) and friend Toni (a doula), I tried to get to bed and sleep but after 30 minutes in bed, I had to get up and walk. It was around midnight, Derek was sleeping, and I was pacing the living and kitchen in the dark- counting to 10 over and over and wondering what it felt like for you to be upside down and squished as the contractions worked on pushing you down and out. I woke Derek up around 1:30 and had him keep me company but the contractions were coming faster and harder till they were about 1-3 minutes long and 3-5 minutes apart.
I texted Toni and she came over about 2:30am. We tried the birthing ball and different positions that I had practiced in my birthing classes- like slow dancing with Derek and lunges and rocking. The contractions were lasting so long and hard that Toni suggested we try and slow them by getting in a hot bath. It felt good for a while and Derek added some bubbles and poured cups of warm water on me as I tried to relax. By 7:30am, nothing had worked to slow labor down and my contractions were 1-3 minutes apart and I was getting very tired.
We decided to go to the hospital and see how far along I was. Toni felt like I was progressing well. Once we arrived, I went to check in and told them that I had been in labor since midnight. The lady said, "oh, you are experiencing a little discomfort?" I wanted to do something violent. Apparently she had never been in labor because discomfort was not the word I was would use for labor. They brought me back and checked me. I was 6 cm dilated and 90% effaced. A little discouraging when you think you are about to pop a baby out.
I was admitted and got settled into a room. Because it was Easter Sunday, it was very quiet and empty. Only 2 or 3 other women were laboring in the hospital at the time. My doctor was not on duty that weekend- neither was his on call doctor. So I got the on-call's on call doctor- which was a little scary to have someone that you have no relationship with at your birth. I tried to stay off my back as much as possible to help keep labor going. I walked, rocked in the chair, swayed, sat on the toilet, got on my hands and knees on the bed (definitely was not as comfortable as the books said it would be) and showered.
My contractions were lasting 1-3 minutes long and were about 30 sec-2 minutes apart. It was really rough and I started to cry more often. I kept praying and saying, "no, no, no" and Toni would grab my hands and say, "yes, yes, yes." She would lock eyes with me when a contraction would hit and start listing off things that were red, then blue, then green, and so on to help me focus on objects instead of the pain. She and Derek would hold my hand and breath audibly with me so that I could focus on relaxing instead of tensing up with the pain. Sometimes I would start to beg for an epidural and Toni would encourage me to get through 10 more minutes. It helped so much to have goals but by 1:30 I wanted to be shot. I tried to focus on how much I loved you and couldn't wait to see you but soon all I wanted was to GET YOU OUT! I finally decided I would just go home and try again another day.
I was standing in the shower when a contraction started and lasted, and lasted, and lasted. I felt like I couldn't breath as it lasted for minute after minute. I turned around and grabbed Derek by the shoulders and cried. I started begging him to let me get an epidural even though I had originally told him to deny it to my when I asked. I said, "I am not strong enough. I can't do it!" He lovingly told me I was strong but that if I needed it then that was fine. I had done a good job. The nurse checked me and said I was at 8 cm and 100% effaced. I got the epidural around 2:30pm but was discouraged when it only slightly dulled the pain. It was enough that I could lay back and close my eyes between contractions but when they hit I felt every wave of pain. The anesthesiologist gave me more medicine but I still felt it all. I asked him if I should be able to lift and move my legs this easily but he had given me all he could give.
At 3:30pm I felt the urge to push. It was incredibly intense! I could only describe it as the worst kind of pressure I have ever felt. But it was a relief because I knew that you were coming soon! I immediately told the nurse that I need to start pushing- now! She told me, "don't push. We will go get the doctor." Any woman that has had a baby knows that when your body says push, you can't just sit there and not respond. By the time the doctor got there at 4pm I had already started pushing. The check and said I was at 10 cm (obviously) and that my water had not broken yet so I gave them permission to break it. Next time, I will let the water break on it's own as the baby is coming out! It made the pain even worse! But as you started moving down and the doctor had a mirror were I could watch the progress. It was discouraging and exciting to see your little head start to show...and then slip back with the movements of the contractions. But slowly, with each push, you were moving closer to entering the world. I tore immediately after your head started to emerge. After over an hour, your head and not really moved any further out and the doctor asked if I wanted an episiotomy. Against my original judgment, I said "yes, just get this out of me!!" With each push I continued to yell, "get him out, get him out now!" and other things like, "I am going to die. This is it," and "no, no, no." I had no idea till later that the doctor kept cutting me more and more when you did not come right away. I found out later from Derek who said he was too shocked to say anything in the moment.
After 1.5 hours pushing, you finally slipped out and they put you on my chest right away. I couldn't believe how beautiful and tiny you were. What had felt like forever (22 hours) was finally here. You were all slimy but they quickly dried you and I got to see your precious face as you screamed a healthy holler at the world.
Unfortunately I didn't get to enjoy your birth for very long because the doctor immediately began stitching me up. While he did numb me, it didn't work and I felt every time the needle entered and left me. I was crying so much they took you and went ahead and started checking your APGAR scores and such. I kept telling the doctor that it hurt and he would apologize and numb me more but nothing helped. I remember him asking for more light and the nurse was holding me open so he could stitch the tear inside of me. I cried for the whole hour that it took for him to stitch me up and begged Derek to watch over you since I couldn't get to you right then. He held you next to me and tried to help me enjoy you and stay distracted. When the doctor finally left, I got to enjoy watching them bath you and weigh and measure you right there next to my bed. You were the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I fell in love instantly.
You were born at 5:31pm on April 24, 2011. You weighed 6 lb, 5 oz and were 19 3/4 inches long. Such a little guy. You had lots of reddish/blond hair and adorable pointy ears (which have rounded out nicely now). We picked out the Bible verse Micah 6:8 for you and pray that you will live by it. "
He has shown you O man what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
We went home from the hospital after 24 hours and it was a relief to be home and sleeping in my own bed. The next morning our friend Diana came over and took newborn pictures of you and Melanie came to help you learn to nurse. Oddly enough, you never liked to nurse on the left side. Thank you so much for that lovely cosmetic change to my body (along with my figure).
One of my favorite newborn photos of you
Just 3 days after you were born (your due date, April 27, 2011), we had a disaster happen near us. Hundreds of tornadoes touched down all over the southeast. One of which was an F4 which killed over 20 people just a few short miles from our home. All day long, we were hurrying up and down the basement stairs, keep up to date on the weather only through our cell phones through my dad. Our power went out at 9am that morning, just shortly after we received a warning on the tv to take shelter immediately. You slept most of the day and were blissfully unaware of the danger around us. I tried to stay comfortable on the camping chairs we had in the basement and we used a shake-it-up flashlight (bad idea to not have batteries!) for light. The dogs stuck pretty close that day and together we watched storm after storm roll through with hail, high winds and lighting. It was around 8:30pm when the tornado finally struck. It was the same one that had hit the Tuscaloosa/Birmingham AL area killing 43 people and injuring over 1,000 others. We did not know about the damage till the next morning and were filled with shock and heartache over the news and with an overwhelming sense of gratefulness that we had been protected that day. We were grieved to hear that our dear friend Toni who had been by my side through all the birth had also received significant damage to her home. Now, 4 months later, she and her family are safe and back in their home. Every time a storm rolls through now, I am filled with a sense of awe at the power of nature and at the power of God who controls it all and how His hand kept you safe at just 3 days old.
See video
F4 tornado that touched down just 20 minutes from our home
4 months after you were born we realized that the pain I was still feeling from birth was not normal as my original doctor seemed to think. So we sought out a new doctor who confirmed my suspicions. I had not healed correctly from my tear and episiotomy. So on September 9th, my mom flew in to help with you while I was in surgery and recovering. The surgery was fairly short and simple for me because they put me to sleep under general anesthesia. I remember waking once and feeling the tube in my throat and then going back to sleep. I wonder if they had a hard time keeping me under.
The surgery was fairly simple. They removed a nodule area from the tear site and cut part of the episiotomy site and re-stitched it. We are hoping that the surgery was successful and that in a few weeks time of healing, the area will be pain free and in normal condition.
It's been almost 5 months since you were born. Things are more peaceful now. Well, as peaceful as life can be with 1am, 3am and 4am feedings. Although, even that is slowly changing. Changes I am glad for and also will miss a little. In those past months I have seen you grow- in weight and length, in awareness of your surroundings, in motor and speech skills, and in personality. You like rice cereal, hate carrots (they make you gag), love being outdoors and watching the wind move the leaves, you want to walk- although you can't sit up on your own yet, water makes you giggle, as well as playing peek-a-boo, and your smile reaches to your adorable little eyes every time. You say "mama" every time you cry, and although daddy says it's purely accidental, I choose to believe it's real. You may not sleep great at night yet, and you may spit up on me right before we leave for church. You may make it hard for us to go on a date or eat without spilling food. You may give me blood-shot eyes and make me worry for days about making the right decision for you- but every thing is worth it, cause you make the sun shine every day. I love you Logan.
- Found out I was pregnant on Aug 12, 2010
- Due date April 27, 2011
- 15 weeks found out you were a boy. If you were a girl you would have been Vanessa Kate
- Felt you move at 16 weeks
- Traveled out of the country on a cruise at 24 weeks
- I got really swollen
- Went into labor April 23
- Labor started with bleeding
- Lots of long, hard contractions for 22 hours
- Went to the hospital at 8:30am April 24
- Got failed epidural at 2:30pm
- Started pushing at 4pm
- Had you at 5:31pm
- You were awesome
- I had to be stitched up A LOT and it sucked
- You weighed 6 lb, 5 oz, 19 3/4 inches long.
- Crazy tornado when you were 3 days old
- Repair surgery for me on Sept. 9
- You are the best thing ever
